On a serious note aside from my dating debacles....what do you do when a loved one has a drinking problem?...tough love? extreme measures? uber support? It is hard to have watched one family drink themselves to death over a year ago and to watch another family member do it is heartbreaking. When does the child have to become the parent? I thought this part of life wasn't supposed to come for at least another 30 years. I'm going through so many emotions: anger, sorrow, fear, betrayal, angst, and more descriptors that I could list on and on. I feel like I can write about this but yet ashamed to tell my friends who I know I should be able to lean on at this point in my life. I guess what this is is just a plea to the universe to guide me and give me strength for this situation.

Date/Meeting #1: Robby. 23 years old (younger than what I usually like to date but claimed to act in his late 20's), and played AAA baseball for the Padres (this last part is what really sold me). I meet up with him for a beer. That should've been my first warning. I arrived and he was already blitzed. However, he was pretty nice and behaved himself and we had a good chit chat. Things seemed to go pretty well (it wasn't an obvious disaster) and he asked me if we wanted to hang out this weekend. Sure, why not? So Thursday I sent him a text message to say hi (side note: text messaging has totally revolutionized if not DESTROYED the art of dating) and he said that he was at work until 9 but could he call me later? Sure, why not? Well...no phone call. I wasn't surprised by this. Anything that boys do doesn't seem to surprise me anymore these days. Friday comes and passes and I go to bed. At 3am he calls. I reject that phone call because no one calls at 3am unless it's an emergency (and we totally were not at that level yet) which means that it only meant one thing: booty call. Not interested buddy. I send him a text later saying "so you're going to be that guy that only texts me at 3am?" to which he replied "only on special days" to which I couldn't even fathom a response and left it at that. Needless to say, I deleted him from myspace (not like he would recognize that one of his 500 friends that were ALL girls) was missing. However, I'm not totally giving up on match.com yet. I still have a couple of more weeks to see what is out there and I've already made a couple of connections. Next step is to meet them in person and go from there. Stay tuned for my next date!

EHarmony...those commercials have been haunting me for awhile now out here in Vegas. I've tried the match.com thing a couple of times, unsucessfully of course. Oh the horror stories. Here's the cliff note from the one date I went on about a year ago from a "match": I really wanted to go see the Bodies Exhibit at the Tropicana so we went and that apparently got this guy in the mood because he wanted to try and makeout with me right then and there...not exactly my idea of romantic. So here I am again being encouraged to try Match.com again or EHarmony. I figured I would give EHarmony a chance since Match didn't work out so well for me last time. After answering the ridiculous questionnaire and receiving a "report" detailing what people could potentially like and dislike about me (f-that yo!), I was able to see my potential matches. However, what they fail to tell you is that you don't get to see their pictures unless you PAY for the service! I'm sorry if this sounds messed up but if I am not physically attracted to a person, then I most likely don't want to try and start a communication with them online. What if I paid for the subscription and saw the pictures and wasn't attracted to ANYBODY!? What a waste of money that would be, right? This directly lead me back to match where I re-vamped my profile and pictures and released it to the wild for free just to see what was out there. There was one that contacted me and I was interested (and he had a picture that I could SEE thank goodness!) and now here I am....$30.00 and I'm subscribed for a month. I'm sure there will be plenty of more interesting horror date stories to come because I plan on speed dating for a month to get my money's worth!

I was dreading going into the chocolate shop today. I had a great day at the pajama job earlier but was becoming pissier by the moment thinking about stupid boys and how slow it was going to be tonight since there is a double-header for Monday night football. However, my attitude slightly changed after a shot of espresso and 2 notes: 1 stating that I sold the most "units" for the holiday weekend and that I got a $20 gift card to Starbucks and that I also met individual goal 9 times for the month of August (which was more than anyone else) and in return I get a $50 gas card! Score! That totally makes up for getting my shifts cut last week due to lack of store sales....kind of.

My 25th Birthday was quite eventful. I figured that since it was a monumental day that I should go do something special. I decided that I wanted to go see the Grand Canyon since I had never been (isn't that something you are supposed to do younger on a vacation with the fam?!) My best friend Melinda and I went the tourist route and took a charter bus to the West Rim. The trip there was a little nauseating due to the 7 miles of unpaved road and a not so personable driver. We finally made it (alive) and went to the first stop: The Skywalk. Heck no we weren't paying extra money to stand on a clear deck that was 4,000 feet above the canyon! We had a great view standing on the solid ground. Next, we went to the stop that had even more gorgeous views. This is where the day takes a turn for the worse. I made the genius decision to eat macaroni salad. Now folks, I don't know if you know this or not, but it was fairly warm that day and mayo isn't meant to be sitting in the heat. Needless to say my stomach started punching me from the inside. We went to the last stop which was the ranch and went horseback riding to the edge of the canyon and back. Absolutely phenomenal. We got back to the tour bus at the time specified (and threatened to be left behind if not on time) only to be delayed in departure 1 hour due to some silly tourists that weren't back yet. We left them after an hour. Too bad suckers. We made it back to the car and had just enough time to shower and get ready for dinner at AJ's Steakhouse at the Hard Rock. I decided that some champagne would help my stomach and downed a glass. About halfway through dinner I wasn't feeling so great and made a couple of trips to the bathroom and had my food put in to-go boxes. I thought I could push through the sick and still enjoy the rest of my birthday. We went to Wasted Space and I tried to have a good time but was encouraged to go home and take it easy. Good call by my friends because I spent the rest of the night wishing I was never born. I was out of commission all the next day too. I would never wish food poisoning upon my worst enemies (that's if I had enemies!) So ultimately, I will have a part II celebration sometime soon and I definitely will never forget my quarter of a century birthday!

I went to LA for a couple of days for some shenanigans. Every summer there is an art festival in Laguna called the Sawdust Festival where artists of various mediums sell their work. One of my favorites is a jewelry maker named Slowsky that makes glass items. I have a couple of necklaces and a pair of earrings from her and every time I wear them I get major compliments. My aunt bought me another necklace for my birthday to add to my collection. Also, while I was at home, I went to a costume beach volleyball tournament called The Gillis. My friends dressed up as the characters from The Sound of Music...hilarious! (see pics below) My best friend since Kindergarden is in town for two weeks so we've been doing various activites every night as well. We went to the Area 51s baseball game the other night and had a blast. Oh and last but not least, here is a pic of my pup Hank (happy now Ric?!)

I went to the chiropractor today for a visit and was slightly annoyed when he was running behind and had to wait. There was this little boy in the waiting room...maybe 5 years old or so...and he was playing with some transformers toys. Instantly he gravitated toward me whether it was because he was bored or he thought that I was going to take his toys. Well we get into a whole conversation about transformers, power rangers, the hulk, etc. Then the strangest thing happened...he asked me out. HA! He asked me if I would come over to his house and watch Transformers with him. Pretty freakin cute. I had to politely decline and say that we had only just met and that it was too soon. My humor was lost on him but the rest of the people in the waiting room chuckled. Needless to say that put a smile on my face and I hope it put one on yours too :)

If anybody has ever been a victim of identity theft, I feel your pain. I first found out that someone had used my social security number in March to file a tax return. As a result, my refund was put on hold until they could figure out for the real slim shady to please stand up. They told me that I should be receiving a letter in the mail to confirm my identity in 4-6 weeks. Well that time came and went and I called again. They said to wait another 4-6 weeks. To make a long and dull story short, it is now 5 months later and I still have not heard from the IRS. I have contacted them multiple times and have only been told to wait and that they were working on it. And this supposed economic stimulus check we all were supposed to receive has also been put on hold due to the fact that my refund hasn't been processed....double whammy. Now the same people are attempting to open up credit cards with my information but luckily I have fraud alerts on my credit file. I had to file police reports and make so many phone calls. It is truly exhausting. I'm hoping I will have a resolution AND my refund by the end of the year. If anyone has any tips or words of encouragement I would greatly appreciate it!

At work tonight I had a lady rush in and ask me if anyone has ever told me that I have a green aura. I replied not that I could remember. I also happened to be wearing a green shirt. Anyway, she said that I had a veerrrry green aura which meant that I had a lot of energy and that I was a positive person. True story. Then she proceeded to tell me that I had a lot of stress in my life. Also a true story. Had I lost someone recently? Yes, my grandpa and my uncle. I was closest to my grandpa and he was my guardian angel she told me. Next...I had a wall that I put up that I keep letting get in the way of where I'm supposed to be and that I need to break it down. Also, she told me that I need to go ahead and move to like I wanted to. Then she told me to go back to LA and I hadn't even told her that was where I was originally from. It could've been a lucky guess, who knows. Next she told me that I was re-connecting with a boy from my past which I didn't think was true but now reflecting back on it I did try and contact this guy that I use to live with and haven't talked to in a year or so. Then she said that I haven't met my soul mate yet but that I would meet him in September or November and that he would be tall, green eyes, and have black hair with an olive complextion. Sweet. She also said that I would be financially stable later in life and that two big contracts would be coming up for me to sign (possibly for my bakery!?) and to read them over really well first. Good advice because I never read that shit lol. Also, she saw a career for me designing things. I said that I wasn't a designer...but maybe she meant that as designing my cakery?! Ultimately, I had some energy that needed to be permanantly cleansed and I said that a long time ago I had been to a holistic healer and had that done and she said that they must've done a bad job because it only worked for a couple of months and that I should come see her. Part of me wants to believe her and the other part of me is skeptical...which she totally called me out on. She said that this was a bad year for me and that things would get better next year...I certainly hope that she is correct about that part! And maybe the whole soul mate thing too :) I am writing this in my blog because in September or November if I meet my soul mate then I might just actually go visit this lady again and see what else she has to say!

I feel the need to tell everyone about this fantastic deal I got the other day. I got a Bed Bath & Beyond mailer the other day and was flipping through it when I noticed there was an 11" Chef Pan on sale. It was normally $19.99 and it had a mail in rebate for $10.00. However, there was a coupon on the mailer for $5.00 off of a purchase of $15.00 or more. Let's do the math: $20-$5 coupon- $10 mail in rebate= $5 kick ass pan! I'm stoked! And it is a pretty durable pan. So everyone run to your nearest junk mail stack and pull out that ad and get that pan!

Recently a good friend of mine asked me when I started listening to country music. I was always the girl that listened to all different types of music but not really country. I told her that I thought it really started about 2 years ago when I moved to Vegas. She thought that was kind of random since Vegas isn't really known for country music but there were definitely other influences other than the city. One of my co-workers listened to country a lot while we were at work and I also found a great website called pandora.com that let me enter in artists that I liked and then they would play artists that had similar music. This is where I first heard of Taylor Swift (waaaaay before she became mega-popular) and went out and bought her cd. Fell in love with it. From there my interest grew. I wouldn't necessarily change the radio station away from the country station and actually listen to the words. They weren't as cliche as I felt they use to be in the past. Perhaps I am getting older and wiser and have more experience and can relate to these songs more. So as I stand here and type at work in my cowboy boots and cowgirl jean skirt I'd like to encourage everyone to try listening to music even if they "like everything BUT country"....you might be surprised that you actually like it :)

Sometimes I wonder. Well I tend to wonder about a lot of things. While I'm waiting for the last half hour of my shift to end, I began to think "how much longer can I go at this pace?" Kind of an odd question but here is the background story. For about a year now, I've been working two jobs which means working 16 hour days sometimes. It is only destiny that I start to burn myself out and feel exhausted all the time. I'm not eating as well as I should and I LIVE for sugar highs. I guess that is kind of the industry that I am in and surrounded by but that doesn't mean there aren't alternatives. Ric is introducing me to some supplements and protein ideas to incorporate into my lifestyle. I don't want to work 2 jobs for the rest of my life. It just happens to be a vicious cycle that I am in right now. Did you know that Las Vegas is the number 1 city in the nation for credit card debt? For some odd reason I wasn't surprised when I heard that statistic and you probably aren't that surprised by it either (whoever you may be my one reader!) Do I blame this on the fact that in school they never really taught us how to manage our money? or is this something that your parents teach you? My parents did their best to teach me but I guess ultimately it comes down to being an adult and making your own decisions that lead you to your current situation. Here is where I come full circle: I'm getting ready to turn 25 and I want to make some changes in my life. I don't want to be in credit card debt so that I don't have to work 2 jobs. I need to start being more financially responsible. I'm taking baby steps by not going out for drinks as often (not that my work schedule really allows for socializing anymore these days!) and I've been trying not to buy myself things because I feel that I "deserve" them because I've been working hard...that's what got me into this mess in the first place! Anyways, thanks for reading the financial rant. If you have any suggestions, comments, concerns, donations, etc. please feel free to respond! Much love.

I'm back! Thanks to some inspiration from my friend Ric I have decided to start blogging again :) You lucky readers you! So here is the update since my last blog: I moved out of my apartment and bought a condo. I went through a couple of more jobs and currently work for a company that sells footie pajamas for adults (like the ones you wore as a kid!) and I work in a chocolate shop. I also bought a beagle puppy that I love to death. So pretty much there is the update that you need to know. I still am living in Vegas and have many more adventures since my last post. I promise to blog more often and post scandalous pictures :)

So here is the Aussie update: the package has had an "exception" according to UPS and is being detained by the government for some unknown reason that they cannot speculate about. FANTASTIC. And there are no guarantees on when the "one day air" package should be here. Here's an idea: it should've been here a day ago asshole. Quit dickin around. Anyways....I also found out that my uncle passed away yesterday which made for a really long day yesterday because I haven't been sleeping well (who would've thought that I would be complaining about having TOO many days off in a row?!) and then I found out about my uncle. I resorted to eating my feelings at a fantastic bbq place that I had never been too and then crying over some ice cream and then laughing at the new Reno 911 movie. Work was a little tedious because all I wanted to do was crash in bed which was what I did when I got home and slept really well. I get to do it all over again tonight. Yay!

Forgive me father for I have sinned...It has been way too many days since my last blog. Ok I feel better now. Anyways...what have I been up to? Nothing too much other than working the graveyard shift (nothing like work 4 10-hour shifts so that you can have 3 days off in a row!) and going into work when it is dark and coming out when the sun is up. I also got trashed in the middle of the day (actually between the hours of 8am and noon) which has prompted me to procklaim "I never want to drink again!" which will probably be broken very soon so that I can drown my sorrows with my other drama...roommates. Fuck this shit! I'm living by myself the next time I move. I am supposed to have this Aussie moving in and she keeps dickin around and saying that the rent payment is being boggled around by UPS. Needless to say I had to borrow money from moms to cover her supposed portion of rent until it can get here and SHE can get here which supposedly on Saturday. I thought she was supposed to be here last Saturday but I was wrong I guess because there is no Aussie living in my apartment yet. Other than that, I haven't been doing anything exciting. Sorry to disappoint all. I just need to get paid on Friday and maybe my life will be a little bit more exciting such as going back home to Cali on Monday to go to the orthodontist and oral surgeon...that should be fun...and then a potential trip to Disneyland on Tuesday to the "happiest place on earth" to hopefully forget my sorrows for a day and then be thrust back into reality again. Yay...thanks for reading the bitching blog. Have a great day!

I've succomb to joining myspace again. Apparently it is the only way to keep in contact with people and know what is going on with them. However, I am limiting myself to the amount of time I waste on the site. Work is going well. The executive chef actually talked to me for a little bit yesterday and told me that I'm doing a great job and that they really appreciate me stepping up. The guy that usually is on the graveyard shift once again did a no call no show so I am on the graveyard shift this week which hasn't been too bad so far. I made it to the gym today (woo hoo!) and read 2 of my magazines out of a stack of 20 that has built up over the months. Why not kill two birds with one stone and read AND exercise? Sounds good to me. Here are a couple of pictures from when I was back home and went out with my friends. Enjoy!

Apparently since I no longer have myspace I have my life back! I no longer spend countless hours online which in turn my blog has suffered. Apologies to my loyal readers. What have I been up to you might ask? A whole lot. I SWEAR pictures will be coming soon when I get paid on Friday and can afford a memory card for my camera so you can see my buns. I know you've been checking daily to see the picture and your patience will pay off. Last time I blogged I was deathly ill and those nazi bastards at the clinic wouldn't give me any drugs. I suffered for a week and finally made the call to the doc back home who immediately called in a prescription for a Z-pack to a pharmacy here. Thank God. The Z-pack is amazing. If you haven't ever had one, next time you're sick, GET ONE! Knocks those bacterial germy muthafuckas right out of your system. Anyways...work has been good. We had the NBA All-Star game here in Vegas which resulted in city-wide madness. Waaaaaaaaaaay too many people but apparently is brought in $26 million for the city for one weekend. Not too shabby. The city has a couple hundred of my money that I've contributed. Our grand opening is officially officially this weekend on Saturday the 24th with our hostess....Carmen Electra. Be jealous bitches. Not that I'll ever see her since I'm in the kitchen and never get to see anything except for when I'm allowed a bathroom break. Oh I also cut my finger on an emersion blender which is something with a very sharp blade. It didn't require stitches but it was pretty gross. I didn't cry though. There's no crying in pastries. I'm sure I've done a whole bunch of other fun crazy stuff like play bingo (I was one away from winning, bastards!) and drinking at the local bar Oceans Eleven (the OE for regulars) and continuing my credit card debt by purchasing plane tickets to visit my friends but that's pretty much a summary of what I've been up to. I'm giving up French Fries for Lent. One might ask "do you really eat that many french fries?" and if you have to ask, then you're no friend of mine! YES I eat that many french fries asshole because they're delicious. No denying it. I promise to blog more and have pics up by this weekend. Yay for payday coming up but boo for graveyard shifts!

A review of the club came out in one of the local papers and it was fantastic! This resulted in a boom in business for Friday night. I once again was on the graveyard shift and had plenty to do and prep for Superbowl Sunday. However, I started to not feel so well i.e. my throat felt like it was starting to swell shut and my chest was tight. After climbing on top of the combi oven to clean the vents and made sure my station was clean and that the last people had left after 7am I asked to skip out on the rest of the cleaning so I could go to the medical clinic to get checked out. Pretty much the doctor said that I was fine and that nothing was wrong with me and that it COULD get worse but then just to take over the counter cough medicine. No shit sherlock. The whole point of me going there to get checked out was so that it won't get worse and to give me some freakin drugs! Anyways, $25 later and with no drugs in hand I walked out of there. I guess I'll just OD on vitamin C and all that healthy crap to try and beat down the virus. Looks like I'm in for another long night on the graveyard shift...

There is now an official "grand opening" date for our club: Saturday February 24th. Our host: Carmen Electra! Fantastic! I'm super excited not only for Superbowl Sunday coming up and then being booked solid for NBA Allstar Weekend AND now our grand opening. February is going to be crazy and I love it! Pictures of my "buns" coming soon...

Someone keeps hacking into my email account and changing my password. Not cool. I didn't do anything to anybody to deserve this. I mind my own business and am probably one of the nicest people you will ever meet and don't understand why this is happening. Anyways, on a happier note...I was making truffles today and weighing them out to 12 grams each and my chef said that he would give me one more chance to weigh it out perfectly so that I could have the night of the DMB concert off...SCORE! I totally did it and was proud of myself. Then he let me go double or nothing so that I could have a Sunday off in April to go to Nashville for a conference/see one of my really good friends. SCORE again! Damn I'm good. Anyways, if anybody has any advice about the hacker or IS the hacker...please let me know. Thanks!